At a parent group meeting, a mother asked “since my daughter’s mental age is about a third grade level, why is she starting her period? This doesn’t seem possible.” All children go through puberty regardless of IQ or social skills. The brain does not tell the body to stop growing if the boy or girl’s developmental level is younger than their age. Puberty is a stage of development just like moving from being an infant to a toddler. Puberty is considered to begin around age 12 for girls and age 14 for boys. The physical changes of puberty are centered on the development of secondary characteristics and the onset of menstruation (in girls) and ejaculation (in boys).

For Girls
The physical changes usually begin between ages 7 and 14. Girls begin to have growth spurts, develop breasts, pubic and underarm hair, and have vaginal discharge. It becomes increasingly important to have good hygiene by taking a shower or bath each day, washing your hair, underarms, and vaginal area. A girls menstruation (period) usually follows within a year or two of these changes. The average age a girl starts menstruating is around 12 or 13 but some girls start as early as 9 and others are as late as 17 (Strong, DeVault, Sayad & Yarber, 2005).

For example, as a parent sees their daughter start to develop physical changes of puberty, it is essential to start talking to her about menstruation. A father called Indiana Resource Center for Autism concerned that his daughter screams loudly and runs around the room every time she sees the sight of blood even if the cut on her finger is small from a piece of paper. She doesn’t become calm until they put a bandage on the cut. How will she react about blood from her vagina? It was discussed that the term for the menstrual pad would be called a very large bandage. This language would help their daughter transition to starting to menstruate. In addition, the family decided it was going to be essential to start practicing the steps from wearing a pad to changing it regularly before the important day came. Here are some ideas to assist in that process.

What can parents do about these changes in girls?

• Put red food coloring in her underwear to show what the blood might look like when she starts her period.
• Have her mom model for her the steps to wearing and changing a sanitary pad. If possible, include other girls in the house as well.
• Mark the pad and panties with a different color to show where the pad should be placed in her underwear.
• Go to the store and buy a few different kinds of sanitary pads. One could try different sizes, thicknesses, wings or no wings, fragrances, and brands.
• Make a visual schedule of how often the sanitary pad should be changed. Remember her school schedule. Try to arrange the changing time with the times that she would change classes (normal breaks in the day) at school. The more the schedule is the same at home and school, the easier the transition will be.
• Watch a video on a teens health website if they want to know why the menstrual cycle is necessary.
• If your daughter learns best with facts, go to the bookstore to buy a book on getting your period. See references at end of article. Having a full explanation of her menstrual phases may help your daughter transition to this part of her life. For others, the information may be overwhelming. As a parent you have learned what manner your daughter learns best. Apply the information you already know about her to this stage called puberty.
• Plan a celebration party for when she starts her period. Growing into a woman is exciting and should be celebrated.