When Juliette Wallen, a mother in San Marcos, Calif., heard that her son, “J,” was being bullied at school, she quickly reached out to people at www.BrainHighways.com, who provide presentations and one-on-one training sessions to assist students like “J” to feel more of a part of the classroom community.

“They came in and helped everyone understand why a lot of these kids did the things that they did,” Wallen explains. “That kind of insight is invaluable; all of a sudden, some of the bullies were saying, ‘Oh, OK. The bullying isn’t even fun anymore.’”

Finding these teachable moments also helped Julie Hertzog.  Currently, Hertzog directs PACER's National Center for Bullying Prevention, which educates communities nationwide to address bullying through creative, relevant and interactive resources. Hertzog led the development of PACER's interactive and innovative Web sites, www.KidsAgainstBullying.org and www.TeensAgainstBullying.org, designed to inspire students to end bullying.

Hertzog’s own personal experience as a mother to a child with Down syndrome inspires her current work with PACER’s efforts. “My 14-year-old son, David, was born with Down syndrome,” Julie said. “Before he turned 3, he had undergone three open heart surgeries and a tracheotomy, and his breathing required a ventilator. Heading into kindergarten, David was nonverbal, had delayed cognitive abilities and received his nutrition from a feeding tube. There was no doubt about it; my son wasn't like his peers.”

Share Your Personal Experience with the Bullying of Your Child with Special Needs

“Because of his differences -- and research showing children tend to single out peers with characteristics like his -- I feared that David could become a poster child for children expected to be the targets of bullying. We live in a small community, where David has known all of his classmates since kindergarten and will eventually graduate high school with most of them. They have the same classes, eat lunch at the same time and attend field trips together.”

“For all of these reasons, I decided the best way to address my concerns about David would be to become his advocate -- not only with adults, but with his peers. During his first year of school, I started visiting David's classroom to talk with his classmates about Down syndrome. I discovered that most children weren't concerned about his cognitive issues; they were actually more fascinated with why he didn't talk. At this time, I also networked with his teachers, his paraprofessionals and even made sure the lunchroom workers knew me. I hoped the more these people felt comfortable with me, the more information they would share,” said Hertzog.

Now, years later, David has just started the eighth grade. He's not bullied, and more than that, he loves school. It's the place where his peers give him high fives in the hallway, ask him to sit by them at lunch and, best of all, genuinely accept him.

AbilityPath.org Parent Toolkits and Resources for Bullying and Special Needs

“The concept sounds simple, but because my son can't tell me what happens during the day, I depend heavily on these peers to act as his voice,” said Hertzog. “Now, what started as four kids in sixth grade has evolved to a school wide project with more than 40 students volunteering to become peer advocates so they can help David and other students who are different. I know all too well that not every parent of a child with a disability has this good fortune. Although I've found that power comes from sharing and being direct, I realize this approach won't work in every classroom where bullying exists. But there are always ways that parents, teachers and students can develop strategies and begin to teach young people the importance of inclusion, acceptance and -- most important -- respect.”

An important strategy for parents to implement with their children whom are victims of bullies is to help them communicate. Many parents rehearse scripts that children with special needs can recite to bullies after an incident. Others encourage their children to tell a teacher or aide the moment that they feel uncomfortable.

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