Bullying resources specific to the experience of a child with special needs, are scarce. Despite numerous attempts to seek direct quotes, tools, research or knowledge from childhood or bullying experts, very few could contribute to this report. Many experts opted not to participate, citing lack of background material as a debilitating factor.

Parents who have lived through the experiences of their children being bullied are often times the best experts. Their personal experiences, how they chose to manage the situation can be helpful for other parents in similar situations. Share your experience with AbilityPath.org.

Kim Stagliano
Kim Stagliano is the best-selling author of “All I Can Handle: I’m No Mother Teresa,” which captures the everyday life of raising three daughters with autism. She stated that the quote “rely on the kindness of total strangers” carries special meaning to her. “All parents have fear when their children are sent out into the world,” said Stagliano. Yet, my children do not have the skills in terms of verbalization that neurotypical children do to tell me what happens to them when they leave our home. Thus, I am completely reliant on the kindness of strangers to protect and defend my children.”

“You almost must become Sherlock Holmes,” Stagliano says. “In our case, the bullying had gone on for a long time and the only sign that we had was when one child had bruises. That was just the tip of the iceberg in regard to discovering what was going on with my child when she was out in the world. I tell parents to demand better training in the schools. Ask for video surveillance cameras on the buses and also make sure that someone is reviewing the video. Chances are that no one is even checking them.”

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“Raising a child with special needs forces a parent to always be thinking far ahead into the future. The ‘what if’ statements never end, but you have to learn to think that way in order to protect your child. I also tell parents that they have to remain sane and not let worrying overtake you.”

According to Stagliano, another important tool against bullying is to become as visible and as large a part of the community as possible. Make the child visible as well. “I’m a big fan of inclusion,” she said. “I believe that the more a part of the community and classroom we are as a family, the less my children will be vulnerable to bullies. The teachers know me. The school administrators know me. The kids know me.”

“I know firsthand that being the mom to a child with special needs makes it doubly difficult to ‘get out,’ but you have to. Go to church and involve your children in the church. Be a full participant in your community and get your children involved, too. Hillary Clinton was right when she said it takes a village to raise a child. I count on that village every single day to help protect my children when they are out in the world.”

The Signs: What every parent should know about bullying

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