I am a mother of a five-year-old beautiful boy named Nathan—Hebrew meaning: a gift. Nathan was born with no complications and met all his milestones up until his second birthday.

Then, within a month after his second birthday I noticed words were disappearing from his repertoire, he was not pointing anymore, he was anxious around ceiling fans, and could become overly joyous watching spinning objects. I contacted Nathan’s pediatrician and she was not overly concerned, but indicated we should get his speech evaluated and she would submit the insurance paperwork. I mentioned to my sister who is a special educational teacher that I was worried that Nathan was not picking up new words. She indicated she noticed some early signs of autism when she saw Nathan on his second birthday, but was too nervous and afraid to tell me—as she did not want to hurt me.

When I heard the word “autism” I thought I was going to die. My body went into shock, shook, and ached like child labor. My stomach was in knots and I was so scared—I went to the Internet and did a Google search on autism and could not even read what was in front of me. I am a businesswoman and with drive and a can-do attitude anything can be accomplished, but at this moment in my life I could not even function to read what was in front of me. Also, I could not even tell my husband what may be in store for us.

I had Nathan’s speech evaluated and asked the speech pathologist if she saw any signs of autism—and expressed my sister’s concern. The pathologist indicated she did not, but did see moderate speech delay and recommended speech two times a week. She recommended I contact Golden Gate Regional Center and get an evaluation as they could assist with any developmental delays in speech. We got an appointment with GGRC three months later and the doctor who evaluated him did see some early signs of autism and indicated we need to work on redirecting it. We were assigned a social worker and referred to Community Gatepath for early intervention. I was spinning out of control and felt like I was on a treadmill that would not stop. I was on a mission to redirect my son’s autism. Boy, I wish I knew then what I know—“redirecting autism” were the wrong words to use.

My husband was in denial and I quickly accepted, grieved, and started my research. At three years old my son was officially diagnosed with autism and had only a few words, but with the help of Community Gatepath’s services and their Family Resource Center I was on the road to getting my son the services he needed: ABA, OT, Speech, Diaper Service, Respite, etc.

It is a journey, but reflecting back I can say I have grown more these past few years than my entire adulthood. I can truly say that my education and career did not set me up for this endeavor. It is the unconditional love for my child that has given me the power, drive, hope, perseverance, and tenacious ability to advocate for him.

I believe that things happen for a reason, but as painful at times as they may seem they often end up with an incredible and wonderful reason. So, I will continue to reflect back in order to understand the reasons why my son has autism. People often say to me, “Nathan is so lucky to have you,” but I am the one who is lucky because I have Nathan, “my gift.”