All children and adults experience difficult times in their lives. Sometimes, children and families need help adjusting in the face of these difficulties and may find the support of a mental health professional to be helpful. Families may choose to seek out this support for a variety of reasons. For some, it may be in response to a recent change or traumatic event. Others may have thought about working with a therapist for some time to help with ongoing challenges. Whatever the reason, it is helpful to know the difference between a typical developmental stage and behaviors that may point to something else. Talking with your child’s pediatrician or teachers can provide you with helpful information. It can help you to decide if the behaviors you are observing mean your child may need extra support.

Mental health therapy can be very effective in situations like these:

• Helping a child and family respond to a traumatic event or loss. A divorce or separation, domestic violence, or the death of someone close to the child are all highly traumatic events in the life of a child. In addition, when traumas such as these occur, the adults in the child’s life are also impacted and may not be as available to the young child. This may leave the child feeling alone and overwhelmed.
• Helping the parent-child relationship. Although parenthood is ideally a time of joy and pleasure, there are many factors that influence the parent-child relationship. Sometimes that relationship does not feel so idyllic. Both the parent and the young child bring unique ways of knowing, understanding, and responding to the world. At times, a parent and child may not easily connect and bond. During these times, the help and guidance of an early childhood mental health professional can make a significant difference.
• Helping when a child’s behaviors are troublesome or harmful. All children go through ups and downs. And all children have moments when their behaviors are difficult to manage. However, if you notice that your child’s behaviors have become increasingly challenging for you and others, it may be helpful to seek support. The following behaviors may indicate the need for extra support for you and your child:

In infancy:

• Appears unresponsive to attempts to interact or engage
• Resists holding or efforts to comfort
• Rarely coos, smiles, or vocalizes when you talk with her
• Rarely makes eye contact or avoids eye contact with primary caregivers
• Has trouble regulating emotions
• Shows little or no interest in exploring her environment

In toddlerhood and preschool:

• Displays either indifference to or overdependence on parent(s) or primary caregivers
• Displays excessive irritability, anger, worry, or withdrawal
• Has frequent and extreme tantrums; cannot seem to calm down after a few minutes or with the help of trusted adults
• Has trouble or limited ability communicating his feelings
• Has frequent aggressive or impulsive behaviors towards parents, siblings, friends, or pets
• Displays inappropriate sexual behavior
• Is not interested in playing with others or making friends or often displays trouble playing with peers

Related Articles

For more information on supporting your child’s social-emotional health, please visit my article: Social-Emotional Development (http://www.abilitypath.org/articles/article/child-development/social--emotional/social-emotional-development.html)

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References

Cooper, S., and Wanerman, L. (1977) Children in Treatment: A primer for beginning psychotherapists. New York, NY: Brunner/Mazel.

Lieberman, A. and Pawl, J. (1993) Infant-Parent Psychotherapy. In C. Zeanah (Ed.), Handbook of Infant Mental Health (pp 427–444). New York, NY: Guildford Press.

Lieberman, A., and Van Horn, P. (2008) Psychotherapy with Infants and Young Children: Repairing the effects of stress and trauma on early attachment. New York, NY: Guilford Press.

O’Connor, K. (2000) The Play Therapy Primer. New York: Wiley.