How can you develop healthy, positive ways of managing stress? It begins with an understanding of where your stress comes from and how you react to it. Stress comes from many sources: relationships, work, finances, your health and that of your family, and, at times, unresolved issues from your past.

The following questions may help you work towards an understanding of your stress. You may find it useful to keep a journal or notebook in which you write down your thoughts and observations. Ask yourself these questions:

• What causes me to feel stressed? Is it a relationship, an upcoming event, a job, finances? For each stressor, rate the level of stress you feel from 1–10.
• When do I become stressed? How often do I feel this way?
• How do I know when I am feeling stressed? Do I become irritable? Sleepy? Depressed? Anxious? Angry?
• Is there a pattern that I notice in the types of things that cause me stress? Do I become more stressed at certain times of the year? With certain people? With certain topics?
• How do I react to stress? Is it always the same or are there certain times when I have a more intense reaction? Do I overeat or drink? Do I “shut down” and feel the need to be alone? Do I reach out and talk with friends or family about what is happening?
• How does my stress, and my reaction to it, impact my family? My children?

Building this awareness will help you determine how you can respond, rather than react, to stress in effective ways and take care of yourself. You may find that for some things, a simple and concrete response helps to alleviate a bit of stress. It might be as simple as creating a schedule with your spouse that allows you to have some uninterrupted sleep a few mornings a week.

Others stressors, such as finding a new job or deciding on a new childcare program, may require more time, attention, and support. It is important to allow yourself time to identify and develop new ways of responding to stress. It will take time to create new strategies because it likely took time for your habitual ways of reacting to develop. Through this process, you may find that you can control how you respond to stress, even if you cannot control the factors that may be contributing to your stress. And that often makes all the difference.

Links & Resources »